Flash

I’m a sizable hound. You can call me big boned or fluffy, it really doesn’t matter. Absolutely nothing bothers me. Like zero. I am THE most laid back basset you will ever meet. I enjoy eating, taking pills stuffed in marshmallows, and long strolls through the neighborhood. I have the voice of a giant, hoarse, basset angel. A song like you’ve never heard before. And this body of mine goes on forever – fully stretched out, we’re talking five feet from my nose to the white tip of my tail. But I do try to keep it under 70 pounds. Can you handle that much hound? Interesting fact – I never want to be over a foot away from you. My hobbies include: cutting clickity-clackity laps through the house while you try to watch TV, spilling unattended beers to try and get a sip, and pretending to be a speed bump. What the Lord took away from me in brainpower, he gave me back tenfold in sweetness. I’ll be there for you… literally, like ALL the time… except for the occasional times when I lose you in the house and have to go looking for you, even though you never moved. It’s complicated.

I get along with other dogs, but I sure will miss you while you’re gone. My dad keeps one blind raised every time he leaves, so he doesn’t have to keep going back to Lowe’s to buy a new one. My current roommates are a crazy basset bulldog thing and a little terrier something. We get along great. I like wrestling with the big one. I am serious about my food, and serious about my naps.

But wait, there’s more…

Now that you are sufficiently sucked in, and already feverishly looking for the adoption application, I have to let you know that adopting me does require some additional work. I have to eat special food, which isn’t exactly cheap, and take pills each day to keep my kidneys working and my blood pressure down (remember those marshmallows I told you about?). The doctor said with the proper maintenance, I should be good to go for a while. They also removed a mast cell tumor from me a while back, so there’s that. I promise you that I’m doing great though, just keep the food and the belly rubs coming!

If you’re still reading this, God bless you… I really didn’t think you would make it this far. I’m Flash, I’m a basset like no other, and if you still want to meet, I’m all in.